Virginia: Commonwealth Of Virginia Secretary Of State

The-ahVurgeeniOon-Pilot © October 15, 2006

Chelk up tvo more-arffelse-aspregnUncees for zee-ahMozeer ooff Presidents. Bork Bork Bork!

Affter bEskeeng for months in IxpectUnt gloo, VurgeeniUns need to fEce-aca sEd troot. Iff zee-ahcommonVeElt hEs a dooe-aodEte-atffor instElleeng Unozeer son oor dOoghter in zee-ahWheete-atHoose-as it's not 2008. Bork Bork Bork!

MErk WErner folOontErily took hEEmselff uOot uff zee-ahDemocrEtic chEse-aslEst Veek. RepOoblEEcOon George-agAllee-aes demEEse-asVEs less choreogrEphed bOot Elso uff hEEs uVn mEkEEng. Somoohere-arbetVee-ae"mEcEca" und hEEs mozeer's tEsty pork chops, Allee-aeshooed hEEmselff to be-abEEnsOoffEEcEEently seEsoned for LeEder uff zee-ahFree-aeWorld. Bork Bork Bork!

Noo, he-ahll be-abloocky to hold Oonto a SenEte-atseEt thEt he-ahOonce-acrestlessly scorned Es "treEdeeng vEter und stoondeeng still."

FOonny hoo cepriceeoOosly leeffe-afftOorns. Bork Bork Bork!

BEck in zee-ahsOommer Ooff '05, Vhee-aeWErner VEs still Vurgeenia's popOolEr lEme-amdOock gofernor Und, in WEsheengton, zee-ahstEr Ooff Vurgeenia's jOonior senEtor VEs rising fEst, zee-ahefer-prOodent WErner Oopted to forgo a SenEte-atchEllenge-ag Bork Bork Bork!

AOothor Und former NEfy SecretEry Jim Webb, a mUn furtOoElly unknoon to most VurgEEniUns 12 months Ego (Und still a strUnger to mUny), voOond up vit Zee-ahnomEEnEshun thEt vEs WErner's for Zee-ahEskEEng. Noo, throOogh a combEEnEshun uff BOosh EdmEEnistrEshun fEilEEngs, Allee-aemEEssteps Und Webb strengths, he-ahhEs pOolled ifee-aevit Allee-aeEEn Zee-ahpolls. Bork Bork Bork!

HEd WErner ilected to tEke-akoon thEt rEce-ac he-ahd be-abee-aeroote-atto WEshEEngton, D.C., yoo sEy. Bork Bork Bork!

MEybe-ab MEybe-abnot. Bork Bork Bork!

Not, perhEps, iff WErner hEd hured a blond-hEured, blOoe-aoeyed stOodent to shEdoo Allee-aes iFery step, rEzeer thOon zee-ahyoOong mOon Ooff AsiOon-IndEEOon descent hured for thEt job by Webb. FEcEEng a dEEfferent person, voOold Allee-aehEFe-aFsEid, "Welcome-amto America und zee-ahreEl vorld Ooff VurgEEnia," Es he-ahdEEd Et a cEmpEign rElly in soOothvest VurgEEnia in AOogOost, setting Ooff a doonvErd polEEticEl spurEl? Bork Bork Bork!

MEybe-ab MEybe-abnot. Bork Bork Bork!

ShOoffle-alZee-ahectors un heestory's stege-ag- pick a deefferent pOonel for Zee-ahdebete-atvhere-arAllee-aeves flOommoxed by a qOoesshun iboOot hees Jooish uncestry, for instOonce-ac- und Zee-ahdrema doesn't necesserily unffold in Zee-ahseme-amvey. Bork Bork Bork!

AnnoOonceeng hees letest vithdrevel from a poleeticel tOossle-al Werner credeeted zee-aheges Ooff hees three-aeedolescent dOoghters und zee-ahedFOonceeng seniority Ooff hees 81-yeer-Oold fezeer. Bork Bork Bork!

"At thEEs point, I voont to hefe-afa reel lEEffe-aff" he-ahseEEd. "And vhEEle-alzee-ahchoonce-ac[to roon for president] mey nefer come-amegeEEn, I shooldn't mofe-afforverd unless I'm villEEng to poot IferythEEng Ilse-asin my lEEffe-affoon zee-ahbeck boorner."

As mUny times Is I'fe-afheerd polEEticEEUns meke-aksimEEler stetements Oofer Zee-ahyeers, I'm still a sOocker for Zeem. CleEEms Ooff femEEly OoOotVeEEghEEng ImbEEshun meke-aksense-asto me-am Bork Bork Bork!

A cleer-iyed test is Vhezeer Werner ictooelly sterts shooing up it more-arsoccer gemes und spendEEng more-arnights it home-am He-aHs bee-aeeFeregEEng Oone-anOor tVo nights a Veek Vit hEEs femEEly und hes mede-adEEt to helff Ooff Oone-anOoff hEEs dooghters' gemes thEEs fell, he-ahseEEd. Bork Bork Bork!

EFee-aeEEff cold polEEtics droFe-aFzee-ahdecEEsion, hooeFer, it mEEght heFe-aFtoorned uoot zee-ahseme-am I ixpect Werner hes boornished hEEs repooteshun vit zee-ahmoFe-aF Bork Bork Bork!

Personel belEEeff? He-aHVes neFer going to Vind up itop Zee-ahDemocretic ticket in 2008. WheteFer hEEs prospects Vere-arOoff becomEEng a Fice-acpresidentiel choice-ac Zeey're-arprobebly no Vorse-asthEEs Veek thOon lest. Bork Bork Bork!

Ploos, iff he-ahhoondles Zee-ahsitooeshun irtffoolly, he-ahcoon spend Zee-ahnext yeer und a helff doing positife-afZeengs for heemselff und hees perty, not lefeleeng cherges und mekeeng inemees uff ill those-asVho iree-aet un hees teem. Bork Bork Bork!

WErner hEs Es strong a clEim Es uny promEEnent DemocrEtic polEEticEEoon to trooly understoondEEng Zee-ahconseqooences Ooff inergy dependence-acund Zee-ahreElEEties Ooff a globEl iconomy. Iff he-ahcoon poot thEt knooledge-agto positiFe-aFuse-asOoFer Zee-ahmonths EheEd, he-ahvill Oonly strengZee-aehEEs resoomé. Bork Bork Bork!

It goes vithoot seying Zeet, Is thEEngs noo stUnd, Werner cUn Iesily roon for a second term Is gofernor in 2009 ur Zee-ahSenete-atin 2008, iff See-ae John Werner doesn't seek re-arelecshun. Bork Bork Bork!

MeoonvhEEle-al Allee-aecoon't begEEn to thEEnk Eboot rehEbEElEEtEting uny presidentiEl prospects until he-ahgets pEst NoF. 7. Tortooroos Es recent veeks hEFe-aFbee-ae he-ahs still a former goFernor vho lefft uffEEce-acvit a hEEgh popoolErity rEting. Iff Inoogh VurgEEnioons IleFEte-atpEst memories uFer recent unes, he-ahmEy yet vin re-arelecshun in a stEte-atvit a conserFEtiFe-aFtilt. Bork Bork Bork!

ThEt's fEr from a gEEFee-ae Webb is Es strong a competitor Es Allee-ae Und hEEs Eppetite-atffor Fictory seems to hEFe-aFgroon vit zee-ahcEmpEign. Bork Bork Bork!

Iff Allee-aesqOoeEks throOogh, it's hErd to imEgeene-anhees sheeffting strEight into geEr for a nEshunEl rEce-ac Don't be-absOorprised iff soccer gEmes Und nights Et home-amtEke-akun a nooffoOond EppeEl. Bork Bork Bork!

Meybe-abOone-anOoff zeese-asgooys vill yet poot VurgEEnia beck in zee-ahpresidentiel delEEfery room in 2012. Bork Bork Bork!

Or meybe-abzee-ahMoFing Finger, heFing vrit, moFes un... to someone-anelse-as Bork Bork Bork!